Zucchini Squash "Pasta" - Get In Mah Belly*

At this point I think everyone's heard about zucchini or squash "pasta," where you spiralize your preferred veggie(s) and pretend you're getting your carb on. As big as the hype has been, I honestly figured it was all the health kick weirdos lying about the taste to let everyone know they're eating "clean." 

Luckily, I'm your no-bullshit friend that typically eats the opposite of clean, and I'm here to tell you: I can fuck with some zucchini/squash noodles. Now I'm not working with a spiralizer, or even peeling that shit myself; I grabbed a pre-cut zucchini/squash combo at Wegman's and it was the best $4 I ever spent (for 2 servings worth). That, a jar of vodka-cream sauce and some shredded parm made one of the best dinners I've had in a long time.

So here you go friends: the ultimate fast way to indulge in cheese and sauce without missing out on flavor. Fuck yes.

Serves: 4

Total Time: 10 minutes


  • 2 tablespoons basting oil, or olive oil with 1 minced clove of garlic
  • 4 large peeled or spiralized zucchini, or 1 family pack at a grocery store
  • 1 jar of tomato sauce - I went wild and bought Sugo Rosa on sale for a fancy treat
  • Sprinkle of garlic powder, red pepper flakes and basil (fresh is fine but we're not Ina Garten here so I know what you're up to)
  • Sprinkle salt and black pepper
  • 1/3 cup Shredded Parmesan cheese, and extra to taste




  1. Set a large nonstick skillet to medium-high, with basting oil or olive oil and minced garlic
  2. Once pan is hot, add 3/4 of veggies, along with salt, pepper, garlic basil and pepper flakes. Cook for 4 minutes, moving every few minutes with a nonstick spatula.
  3. Once veggies in the pan have lost some of their crunch and start to release moisture and stick to each other, add the remaining group. I came upon this by accident not making enough since everything cooks down, but the addition of some that were only lightly cooked added awesome bite that balanced everything out. Cook for 1 more minute on medium high.
  4. Turn heat to medium-low and remove pan to a cool burner. Add sauce slowly, keeping in mind the veggies will absorb some! I did about 3 tablespoons per serving. Add in cheese and return to warm burned, stirring until well coated and slightly bubbly, about 2 minutes.
  5. Add extra cheese and dig in!

Roasted tomatoes are a great add on, so would some homemade sauce with meatballs or sausage. Enjoy cuties!


* - "Get In My Belly"